Now, I’m not sure how or why you’ve stumbled onto this page, but I am sure something went wrong. I mean who else but me comes to this page? And, hell, I only come here – very occasionally at that, mind you – to make sure haven’t shamed myself and my English degree by making some grammatical faux pas some stranger on the internet can haughtily chuckle to apachehelicopterkin-self about.
Really, this page only exists to give people – strangers on the internet – the illusion that this is some kind of semi-professional, non-laughable site. How couldn’t it be? For fuck’s sake there’s one of those illustrious ‘About Me’ pages! That’s also why Mister Genius Man™ here spent the big bucks buying that there domain name making your ugly old address bar look so pretty.
Anyways, I’m Ruben.
Uh, yeah. Follow me on Twitter
as I lamely attempt to shamelessly and hungrily suckle at the withered teat of would-be internet popularity – My mom did tell me to dream big but now she won’t even hug me because I’m, like, neat.