About Me


Now, I’m not sure how or why you’ve stumbled onto this page, but I am sure something went wrong. I mean who else but me comes to this page? And, hell, I only come here – very occasionally at that, mind you – to make sure haven’t shamed myself and my English degree by making some grammatical faux pas some stranger on the internet can haughtily chuckle to apachehelicopterkin-self about.

Really, this page only exists to give people – strangers on the internet – the illusion that this is some kind of semi-professional, non-laughable site. How couldn’t it be? For fuck’s sake there’s one of those illustrious ‘About Me’ pages! That’s also why Mister Genius Man here spent the big bucks buying that there domain name making your ugly old address bar look so pretty.

Anyways, I’m Ruben.

Uh, yeah. Follow me on Twitter as I lamely attempt to shamelessly and hungrily suckle at the withered teat of would-be internet popularity – My mom did tell me to dream big but now she won’t even hug me because I’m, like, neat.